Santa Claus is coming to town. A very sunny and humid town.
Santa Claus is coming to town. A very sunny and humid town.
So my friend Laura and I go into the liquor store in PV and when she pulls out her wallet at the cash register this little Altoids tin full of pills crashes to the ground, spilling out pills in every color of the rainbow. It was quite a display. While the liquor store security guard helped her pick up the mess, she says, “These are all over-the-counter, perfectly legal pills. Excedrin, Advil…”
I told her she was fine and they weren’t going to care. Then I slowly walked away and pretended not to know her.
Of note, the photo above is a reenactment. The actual pill spillage was much more scattered and impressive. I just thought it wouldn’t be wise to take a picture of it in the moment. I can show restraint when I have to.
I’ve been to PV several times, and Scott and I were here this time last year. It’s a chance for me to reunite with some friends who live in other parts of the country. Scott had some other obligations this year, so he and Finn are holding down the fort at home.
I had a window seat on the plane yesterday, but this family asked me if I wanted an aisle so they could have a whole row. Sure, why not. I ended up sitting next to a retired couple who live in PV six months a year and are now my new BFFs. Yes, I now know the life story of Roscoe and Roberta. Roscoe was a busboy at the Sahara in Las Vegas in the 50s, and his first wife was a dancer. He had a number of great brush with fame stories that featured The Rat Pack, Buddy Hackett, and Debbie Reynolds. He said his favorite celebrity was Sugar Ray Robinson, since he was the sweetest, most charismatic guy. I didn’t realize Sugar Ray Robinson was also quite an accomplished singer and dancer who occasionally performed at the Sahara.
Anyway, we spent the whole four hours talking, and the flight zoomed by. They gave me their email and phone number and the name of their favorite places to eat and buy jewelry. I know they really want me to stop by, but I’m only here a week and I have five other friends to visit and catch up with.
But I told Roscoe and Roberta if I get tossed in jail they’ll be the first people I call.
Gurrrrl, I get up early, but I’m no Jesus Woman.
I get to work at 6:00 am. I leave my house at 5:00 am. My job has flex time, but I work this schedule because of the crap commute traffic around here. I’m also an early riser. I’ve had this schedule for almost 14 years.
I’ve done a few cool things in my life, but nothing has impressed people more than telling them I get up at 4:00 am and drive to Seattle every day (I take the train more now that there is a 5:12 am train and I live by the station, but I still drive a few days a week). People sure hate getting up early.
I’ve done this for so long it’s no big deal. I just go to bed before 10 pm, and it’s all good. I do go into shutdown mode about 8 pm, however. If I’m not in bed watching television, looking at my iPad or reading by then I get a little grumpy.BUT, today I’m not going to work. Today I’m up early to go to Puerto Vallarta. My next post will be from the beach. If the beach has wifi. So it might have to be poolside. Stupid beach.
Scott made a dozen or so of these Santa ornaments in grade school, so these babies are over 35 years old. We’ve had them for several years now, but we’re down to eight.
Oops, make that seven. They don’t make shellacked salt dough ornaments like they used to.
Pretty happy with my latest impulse buy. Christmas tree googly eyes!
This week’s One Word is equality.
That is all.
For those of you who are new to my blog, I was born and raised in Sumner, WA. It’s a small town in the Pacific Northwest about 40 minutes south of Seattle. I moved away for college, and my husband Scott and I lived and worked in Mt. Vernon, WA and then Seattle before finally moving back to the Sumner area when we had our son Finn. So kids, remember my story before you say you will NEVER move back to your home town.
Over the years I have stayed in touch with many of the people I grew up with. And I did this all way before Facebook. I talk a lot in my blog about my friends from grade school, junior high, and high school. I know it’s unusual to regularly see and hang out with people you have known since kindergarten, so I feel fortunate to have grown up in such a cool place. I’m not gonna lie and say my childhood friends and I are now on the same side of all issues. But I do know that people who don’t always share your world view are somehow more tolerable when you witnessed them eating paste. Or laughed when they got lost on a field trip. Or watched their mom pick them up from the movies in a Ford station wagon with the family dog in the front seat.
Oh wait, maybe that was me. But I digress.
Yesterday Scott and I went to the Santa parade in downtown Sumner with our friends Terry and Kathy. I did not go to high school with Terry and Kathy. See, I can branch out.
The Sumner Santa parade started up after I moved away to go to college, so I don’t have any fond childhood memories of it. And I think I’ve only been as an adult once when Finn was a toddler, so I was surprised to find out how LONG the parade is now. Like over an hour long. And it was freakin’ freezin’ yesterday. Like, in the high 20’s freezing. And when you’re standing on the sidewalk for an hour watching a fleet of septic company trucks with Christmas lights go by you start to question your sanity. Yeah, and not one, but TWO septic companies were represented in the parade. As Scott said, “When Advanced Septic found out that Flohawks were bringing their fleet, it was ON.” And Terry noted, “There is some poor sucker with a backed up toilet right now who is pretty pissed that they can’t reach anyone.”
But we were there to see and take pictures of Santa.
You know how I like to mention I’ve met Vanilla Ice? Well, I went to high school with Santa. No lie.
So top that brush with fame story. I dare you.
Early this morning, I was scrolling through my dash, minding my own beeswax, when I spied a pic of my fake high school BFF Janet, which she claimed was allegedly from a test shoot for somethin’ or other. But a couple of days ago when I was texting her asking if she wanted to have a jam session with me on Skype this weekend, she was super-vague and stuff, and she was all, “Oh, um, I’m super-busy this weekend and stuff, so I’ll need to take a rain check?”
One thing you should know about Janet, aside from her addiction to Red Bull, is that she is a terrible liar. The second thing you should know about Janet is that she works as a government busy business lady.
Suspicious of Janet’s true whereabouts this weekend, I checked the official NASA website, and behind the top-secret security login, there’s a section of current top-secret, super-confidential NASA projects, including a project codenamed IfJanetLivedontheMoon. That’s where I found these totes incriminating pieces of evidence.
Janet, guurrl, I know you want Tumblr peeps to think that you’re all innocent and stuff, and that your claims to fame are meeting Vanilla Ice and getting into Twitter wars with Richard Marx, but I’m on to you and your super-secret space travel plans.
Text me later? You know, when you’re back on earth and stuff?
Lazy Dad, I can’t pull one over on my fake high school BFF. I don’t even know why I try. It’s like that time you got totally obsessed with the English band Cutting Crew, and I told you it wasn’t lame. But you knew.
But now that you’ve revealed my secret I am finally free to say, Suck it Lance Bass! I made it to the moon and you didn’t. Bye, bye, bye!
Also, dude, I’ll totally text you next month. I can put myself on the moon, but I still can’t figure out these unlimited texting plans. Acck!
Interplanet Janet, she’s a galaxy girl,
A solar system Ms. from a future world,
She travels like a rocket with her comet team
And there’s never been a planet Janet hasn’t seen,
No, there’s never been a planet Janet hasn’t seen.